Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
