Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
