I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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