I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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