my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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