Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
