you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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