she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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