Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
