We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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