You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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