Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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