I just saw a hot homeless man
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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