I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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