So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
