one might say we're banned from that church
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
