quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
