that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Randomize
