and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
