so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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