We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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