The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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