She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
