It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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