Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
