This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
