So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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