we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
