Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im holly from the hills drunk
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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