Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
