This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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