there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
