where am i from again
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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