singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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