so that wasnt chicken after all
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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