You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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