Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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