arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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