So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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