How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
