you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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