I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
