So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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