Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
