her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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