ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
