Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
