just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
