You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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