i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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