i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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